


Side Effects

by Gaytron (PleasantlyToasted)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cuban Lance (Voltron), Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Texan Keith (Voltron), hand holding, pidge is a vent gremlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 04:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10429329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleasantlyToasted/pseuds/Gaytron
Summary: Keith struggles to come to terms with an unfortunate side effect of his Galra heritage. The rest of the Paladins (and Coran) do what they can to make him feel better.





	

Keith stared at Coran.

“What? What do you mean I can only eat purple cucumbers.”

Corn smiled brightly, “Number 4 your Galra blood can only consume one food now that you are aware of your heritage.”

Keef died inside, “Why purple cucumbers?”

“Because you’re a purple fucking furry.”

Hunk passed by, “Purple cucumbers? You mean that thing I used to make the potato chips with last night?”

Corrán nodded happily, “Yes that.”

Quiche glowered at Junk. He had done this to him. Why. Keijo decided Lambce would have to suffer too. He was to one who had dared him to eat the leaf juice last night.

Kelsey stomped put angrily from the room in search of Lamps. He was probably looking at his pores in a mirror somewhere. 

He was.

Hank had trailed after him, completely oblivious to Kendo’s ginormous problem.

Lobster smiled dazzling at Kaiba, “Hello Kooties, how are you this fabulous day?”

Karrt-top threw a hand (catch these hands) in the air dramatically, “You’ve ruined my life!”

Lavalamp tried not to furrow his bro, not wantin’ wrinkles. But it was hard.

“Where’d you get the hand?” 

“Space Hot Topic.”

Lettuce nodded. That made sense.

Hrgunk squawked, “a hand?? Why did they have that at space hot topic??”

“Because of the strength of emo.” Pidge interjected.

Kite stared Humbug down. “I can only eat cucumbers because of you. Purple!!! Cucumbers!!!!”

Honda and Larry recoiled in horror. “No”

Potato jumped down from the vents, “ Can you eat zucchini?”

Lumbo recoiled in more horror. He'd once used zucchini instead of cucumber for his eyes. It had given him acne.

Hell reached out to comfort his friend who had begun to hyperventilate.

K337 threw a different hand in the air agaiN, “only purple Cucumbers!!!”

Porridge looked at the hands, “ are these Galra?”

Shurro walked iN, looked around and walked back out.

“Why do you have so many hands??” Lankers demanded in a texan accent.

“They were on sale, three get two free.”

Potassium nodded, “ Can I have one?”

Kizzmyazz threw a hand in the air, “No!!! My hands!!! You don't have to eat purple Cucumbers so you don't get hands!!!”

“I will for free hands.”

Lands wiped the sweat from his face, he didn't want to much oil there

Padge eagerly leaped after a hand that Kendall threw in the air. Hatbox hid behind a chair as Killjoy began throwing hands at him.

Pyjamas caught a hand and held it up victoriously, “LOL! rAWr XD”

“How did you make a face but verbally?”

Lump held up a hand, careful to keep it away from his face. Who knew what disgusting face diseases it could give him.

Honk pushed a hand away from his foot, Kwanza was making his way over with a hand in his hand.

Sheerio walked in again, eyeliner in point as always, he picked up a hand.” Kecking can I keep this?”

Kronk nodded before turning back to Hankey. But then bekkeh the mouce ran in front of him with a purple cucumber in his paws.

Ke$ha™ exploded, “ You dare put this in front of me??? The nerve??? Shito!!! Kill it!!!”

Shiba Inu looked over, “I'm going to go stay hi to Allstar. Maybe I could tell her what you said about her mouse.”

All the Paladins cowered, even Pillbox from her throne of hands that she had made while everything was happening.

Lingerie pulled out nail Polish and began painting the hand throne. Hyundai cautiously made his way over to help.

Kulula exploded, “Ny’all have the nerve to paint my hands???”

Putty stated him down, “they're my hands now”

Landmine and Handy Manny bowed to her, Lancestors trying to deal with the closeness to the hands. Halsey wondering what delicacies he could make with these hands.

“All hail our hand queen, our handwich, Polyamory.”

Kampong stomped out of the room, throwing a hand behind him, “Nya!!!”. Snape waved to him as he left.

Everyone looked to Queen Powp. She sneered down at them. They bowed again.

Succinylsulfathiazole bowed reverently, then he threw a hand at her, ”This should came in handy, my queen.”

Cornbread suddenly reappears, looking to the camera like he’s on the Office and leaves a final cryptic message, ”420 ballzit.”

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> happy early April fools
> 
> https://greenpaladinknockoff.tumblr.com/post/158788713123/someone-bout-to-catch-these-hands-bonus


End file.
